Would you like Police Review to publish a collection of my column pieces as a book? After all, it did Jeremy Clarkson no harm.

Yes and I would buy a copy.

Yes but I would borrow a friends as I am too tight or poorly-paid to buy one myself. If anyone wants to buy me one for Christmas that would be great.

No, I think you a maniac and an egotist. You show no respect to me or my fellow Superintendents Or indeed to ACPO.