What's your preferred emergency wine-opening technique?

The Hulk: Smash bottleneck against a rock, a wall, or the bow of the Queen Mary. Take a deep breath. Filter remaining wine carefully.

The Carpenter: Some combination of wood screws, drywall screws, nails, pliers, drills, screwdrivers, duct tape, and, yes, teeth.

The Shawshank: Tunnel gradually through the cork with a knife or small rock hammer. Discreetly dispose of cork debris in the yard.

The David Copperfield: Thump the bottom until, voila, the cork slowly and mysteriously emerges. Take a bow.

The Boyscout: Always (always!) keep a corkscrew in your purse, glove compartment, keychain, etc. Consider prosthetic corkscrew finger.

The All-In: Abandon hope. Push cork into bottle. Drink the whole thing.