I would have him steal drugs, and sell them for money.
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I would teach him to gamble in the casinos.
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If I had a monkey I would teach him how to do my hair.
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I would have him watch Rachael Rae and cook me food.
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I would teach him to beat old people at Bingo.
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I would train him to re-enact pointless movies like WaterWorld.
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I would teach him to be a black belt in Karate and fight bullies.
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