He is the life of parties he has never attended
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Sharks Have a week dedicated to him.
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Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
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His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
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He speeks fluent French, in Russian.
Voters:
He lives vicariously through himself.
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He once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Russian.
Voters:
His organ donor card also includes his beard.
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He wouldn"t be afraid to show his femine side if he had one.
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Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.
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If he disagrees with someone it is because they are wrong.
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He once gave an autograph in sign language.
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He"s won the same lifetime achievement award twice.
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Even his tree houses have finished basements.
Voters:
His business card just says, "I'll call you."
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