Which "Out of Office" reply should I use?

I'm currently out of the office on furlough. If you don't understand what this means, please go to your bank, take out 20% of your last paycheck and burn it.

I am currently on furlough, and now care 20% less that I am not

available to respond.

I am currently out of office on furlough. Since I am not being paid,

please contact someone who is.

I am currently out of office on furlough (defined in the government

Thesaurus as being on vacation or the government dictionary as having been laid off). If you need assistance contact a government contractor or

military person who is still working and being paid for it.

I am currently out of office on furlough. It is forced time off without pay. Please contact Congress for assistance. They are actually not working, but still getting paid for it.