What do you think your pet really thinks about you?

DISGUSTING -"You're a disgusting hooman you don't at least lick yourself clean and now you want to pet me."

SLAVE -"That's right hooman worship me. Obey me. Feed me. I'm one step closer to taking over the world."

PET-LOVING -"I swear you're the best hooman I ever had and you'll always be."