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Avacara
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Which of the following are reliable indicators of middle age?
During a hostage situation you are released first
Nobody takes sexual harassment charges against you seriously
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
Things you buy now won't wear out
You can live without sex but not without glasses
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it
You sing along with the elevator music
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them, either
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