"It's not the years honey, it's the mileage."
"The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't work out, but I"m glad I had them."
"Real nice party. I see a lot of familiar face-lifts."
"The worth of a life is not determined by a single failure or a solitary success."
"If I dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass."
"Do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life?"
"Okay, well, I'll see you at the "I've peaked and I'm kidding myself" party."
"I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories."
"If I'm back here at a reunion in twenty years talking about how wonderful high school was, just shoot me."
"Whoever tells the best story wins."
"I don't believe we've met, what with the cruel politics of high school and all."