1. Squash a cupcake on their nose and say “take that, you dandelion.”
2. Say “Really, you [bad word, bad word] dirty [bad word], I hope I never see you again at one of these events.
3. Let’s go outside and finish this (like someone I actually know did at a networking event!)?
4. Realize that some people just have little or no people skills and move on to someone who does.